Infiltrated

Approximately 10:30 pm, I turned my light off and Beans joined me for our nightly spooning. Before I was completely out I felt her jump out of bed like she was after something which I sleepily ignored and passed out.

Four hours of uninterrupted sleep later at approximately 2:30 am I have the same feeling of Beans leaping out of bed, this time it was accompanied with a struggle?! As I turned on my light ready to see Beans with a bug or moth I saw something different. To my horror, it was a huge black BAT! Fuck, shit, damn, I quickly jump up and start to panic, what do I do, what do I do, I need to find something to trap it with. The perfect bat cage doesn’t appear and my window of opportunity had closed because the motherfucker took flight. I screamed and dropped to the ground grabbing my giant pillow as a shield and head cover. I run out of my room and close the door trapping him inside.

Downstairs I gather all the necessary bat catching equipment: a trash bag, a broom, a hand towel (later I upgraded to a full size towel) and of course a hat. Armed and ready I go back upstairs and crack the door, what I see can only be compared to as bat NASCAR. Vroom he flies by, vroom he flies by, I close the door and compose myself, I’m going in.

This time when I crack the door there was nothing; I open it wider, still nothing. Good, this is going to be easy; he has obviously landed now I just have to throw a towel over him and tada back to bed! After combing the entire room with no bat to be found, I was too exhausted to keep looking. It was a little after 3:30am when I decided I was going back to bed with the rogue bat still lurking. (I did of course keep my hat on)

Thirty minutes later the green flag was flashed and the race was back on. I flicked on the light and pulled my covers up so only my eyes were out as I watched him fly around and around. He dipped and dived and I was desperate for him to land and give me a chance to capture him. After taking a couple more laps around my room he did and I thought I saw the area where he was. However, when I got up and looked he had vanished once again the sneaky little cock nose!

I went back to bed ready for the same scenario to play out. Ten minutes later it did, the only difference was this time I had left my bedroom door open and he made a left and flew out. I was about to follow, broom and towel in hand, when I had a better idea… I closed my door. F. this! I’m going to bed.