Sunday, October 28, 2012

hhuuuaarrrkkk toooo

Who knew there was an art to spitting and more importantly why is it that guys always seem to be so good at it? Whether it be a loogie or just a straight spat they always manage to do it perfect; hawking it up and launching a perfect circle as it lands with a splat. I mean lets be serious, the noise it makes is even perfect. Whereas when I do it, it's like a shower of saliva and (depending on the technique I try) a possible drool stream down my chin. Gross.

Spitting practice is something I've started on a more regular basis (this may or may not be while I jog). I try multiple techniques for creating the perfect loog. Tongue behind my bottom teeth. Fail. Shaped like a "u". Fail. No tongue use at all. Fail.

Fail, fail and fail, why can't I just do it? I have asked many of my guy friends on multiple occasions over years about their spitting technique. Even after following their instructions I still can't seem to get it.

I have come to the conclusion that spitting the perfect loog just may not be in my cards. I am also starting to think it is directly related to a man's "lower region" along with something in their saliva that enhances this ability. They can't just be better at it than me, there has to be a reason. Whatever it is, it makes it congeal a little better and makes it impossible for them to fail.

As I continue to try honing in this skill, I will not get my expectations to high on actually mastering it...

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