Gene Wilder

You can always tell when someone moved away or the last time they were home by what they refer to the townie bar as.   “Hey, I’m back in town, you wanna go hit up The Dog?  The Dog? It hasn’t been the dog for years”.   There is only one official bar where I live other than AMVETS, however you really can’t count that place because you need to have a membership to get in. My favorite part about the bar is that the people never change, the regulars rotate with every new name and the bartenders are all people you went to high school with.   

Over the years and throughout all the different owners the bar will always be a constant where I live.  It was the Brown Dog Sports Bar back when I was around 21 to 24, I didn’t hang out here a lot because I was still kicking it at my mom's crib.  The only thing I can tell you about that time was it was known for their award winning wings and the cute puppy dog boarder around the dining room.   Any place that can rock a puppy boarder is definitely a high class Sports Bar. 

After “the dog” we had Coaches, Coaches was my shit.  No need to order here, me and Gretchen, my partner in crime, would walk it and my 16oz pounder and her Michelob Ultra would be ready and waiting, always served lukewarm unless you were smart enough to order from the animal trough behind the bar with the popular beers iced down.   Kevin Bacon's stunt double, Clint Bryant and many other infamous individuals could be seen on any random night at Coaches. 

Coaches was also the place that brought out the klepto in me.  They had so many treasures that no one appreciated, I took it upon myself to steal and cherish these items.  Some of my alleged thievery consisted of and in no particular order were: a purple #12 pool ball, a lighted holiday sign, multiple martini glasses, a beer bucket with salt and pepper shakers, gene wilder (my best swipe to date), a music box thingy, small Christmas tree, Miller Lite beer mat, a large blow up display, and I am sure many, many other items.  The only thing that I truly wanted and never had the courage to take was the clock.  Could you imagine a bar without a clock?! It would have been classic. 

Now, the bar is called Kelly’s Place, I haven’t been there quite enough to form my skewed opinion,  I will say you have a 99% percent chance of seeing the owner  drunk and dancing behind the bar, Sexy, sexy.    I have a feeling Kelly’s Place may be around for a while so I have decided to keep my hands to myself and be on my best behavior when I choose to visit.  (for a while at least)