Whether you are celebrating a witty comeback, your favorite player just made a touchdown or for all I care you just won the lottery; I would prefer to be left out of the high five circle slap. First, I am not excited about whatever it is you are celebrating and second, even if I was excited about it, raising my arm in the air and slapping hands just doesn’t appeal to me. I would totally prefer to fist pump at my side or do pelvic thrusts. Please keep in mind none of which need a second person in this celebration.
I despise hanging out, not realizing a game is on until out of nowhere someone I am sitting with starts passing out high fives like candy, get the fuck outta here, I wasn’t even watching that game. I have been caught off guard and guilty of receiving a high five every now and again, usually it is in passing or I am trying to “fit in” with a new group and am just not ready to give a stare down towards someone new when they raise up that celebratory hand and not get one back. I do have some stipulations that go along with the accepting and refusal of the notorious H5. (which in my world it is now considered a virus)
If I know you or do not like you the refusal is usually accompanied with a disgusted look as to why you would expect me to return this action. However, if I am not familiar with you, I may conveniently turn away, experience a phantom phone call or just look around like I didn’t see the “wave” of the high five coming at me. Begin able to avoid the H5 without confrontation or having to be open about my feelings is the most difficult.
Now, I am not only avoiding high fives from people who don’t know I hate them, I am also avoiding them from the people who KNOW I hate them and think it’s funny to trick me into this unpleasant act. Bitches.
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