Wait, were you talking to me? I’m sorry I wasn’t listening. I have a lot on my mind lately and when I get like this I find myself “in my head” more often than I’d like. Thinking, questioning, playing out different scenarios, thinking, (shut up I can think more than once) and obviously putting entirely too much energy into any one situation going on around me. I spent the majority of last summer “in my head” and after taking a much needed break, I am not exactly happy to be back.
A large amount has to do with work. Not having enough time, expectations are high, can I get everything done. Once the season starts it transforms into: not having enough events, not kissing ass good enough and not getting things done to Bildo Baggins’ expectations.
The other part is trying to find time for myself. There is it, myself. Is there ever going to be enough time for me? How are things this summer going to go? Will I have more time off, any time off? What about my new relationship, how will it fair? I think the majority of my friends and family have accepted my fate of being M.I.A. during the warmer months. Maybe I should look into getting a new job? Is mine really that bad? Back in my head I go.
Ever since I was 16 I have worked at a golf course giving up most weekends and holidays. Sometimes I dream about a Mon-Fri, 9 to 5 and wonder if I would like it? I could get real vacation days (not just ones in the winter), sick days to use at my disposal AND weekends off. I wonder if that would be one of those: “the grass is always greener” things but maybe not. I should stop thinking so much about it and just let it happen rather than trying to figure out how it will all happen.
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