As I sit here on my couch watching my cat lick herself, I wonder just how I got here. As the fourth girl of six, in a family of eight (yes all girls), I have always considered myself the less favored* middle child. Always walking a little to the left of the path my older sisters made and giving new direction to my younger ones.
I had a happy childhood, was a normal teenager and a rather tame twenty year old. Now at 30, I wonder when the fuck I grew up? From owning my own house, to driving my dream car, a modern day El Camino, all the way to holding down a decent job. When did this happen and more importantly where do I go from here?
After recently ending a four year long relationship I am in the process of figuring that out. Trying to find myself and what I want in life. Most of the time I feel like I have been asleep while driving, letting life and the things around me pass me by and not even realizing it. Those times are over and I am ready to take control of myself and my life. That is, as long as I can stay awake.
*Less favored in no way means unloved or ignored, it only means I had my shit together more than sister #3 did and didn’t require as much monitoring as she did. :p
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